Dealing with Disappointment

disappointment, such a big emotion, image sourced here

Do you remember the first time you felt really disappointed as child? Your stomach feels sick, pain in your chest and that heavy feeling of injustice...NOT FAIR playing around and around in your thoughts. I don't remember the exact first time, but I do remember many moments as a child when a play date was cancelled, or the weather suddenly turned bad. As horrible as these moments felt at the time, they are an important part of growing up and learning to cope.

My heart sank today as my big boy got into the car and burst into tears after school. He hadn't been invited to his best mates 8th birthday party today after school. And unfortunately for us, the friend was parked two cars down and we heard the laughter and fun as the children all piled into the BF mum's car. The big heavy sobs said it all. Junior was bitterly disappointed. He couldn't understand why he was not invited, considering his friend lives a hop, step and a jump over the fence on the street behind. I didn't know the answer why. All I knew was that his friend was only allowed to invite three friends, and I'd only learnt that 5 minutes earlier in the play ground.

The tears got heavier, the sobs louder and Junior's face redder. He wondered if he had done something wrong. I started to feel yuck in the stomach too, an old feeling of disappointment rearing it's ugly head. 

We got out of the car and I hugged my son and told him that I loved him. And that we would pack for his holiday to Grandma's tonight. I decided to give him some treats of a lollipop and icecream, hoping that the sugar might make him feel a bit better. We fashed his face, and the red disappeared. Hoges came home and took both boys out for a bike ride.

It's tough watching your child experience real disappointment for the first time, this I Know,  and not having any answers for it is hard too...how do you deal with this experience?

Joining in with Yay for Homes, Things I know linky

Be Happy,  
Nicola 

Things I Know - Pregnancy and Birth

image courtesy of guerrillanerd.blogspot.com

Today Mini Hoges and I caught up with a dear friend who is 7 months pregnant. It is her first pregnancy, so naturally, she is excited and anxious all at the same time, depending on which directions her hormones are taking her. We talked about how she was feeling physically and emotionally and about the exciting stuff, like how much baby bonus you get these days, how many grow suits is too many and painting baby's room. 

Two comments that did get me thinking though was how this amazing woman said that she was going to feel quite anxious at the time of the birth, and that she doesn't like not being in control. Her mother is a midwife and supports her so well. Her husband is loving and wants the best for her and their baby. The second comment was that her doctor has told her to slow down on the eating because she is gaining a bit too much weight. This clearly is not true. My friend looks healthy, and is by no means one of those HUGE pregnant women that everyone gawks at and is worried that they are about to have the baby at their feet. No, she is healthy, with a moderate baby bump. It got me thinking. 

What could I say, as a friend and a fellow mother who has had two healthy and normal pregnancies and births? What positive encouragement could I offer?

Things I Know - Pregnancy and Birth

• Trust that your body can do this. Women have been birthing for centuries. It is only in the past 50 years that we have medicalised a natural process. (that is not to say that I think intervention is wrong...thank goodness for medicine, and choice)
• Having an emotional release each day is good for you (even if it is prompted by drama tv, like Grey's Anatomy). It allows you to let go and release unnecessary worries.
• Doctors should not tell pregnant women to slow down on their eating, unless there is a genuine concern about the health of the mother or baby. A woman who has gained 10kg during pregnancy is totally healthy and within the norm. I gained 26kg in my first pregnancy.
• First labour can be scarry, but it is also exciting, energising and empowering, provided you have the right positive support people with you.
• It is ok to change your mind about what you want during labour. Whilst it is nice for you to prepare a birth plan, chances are, you might leave it at home or abandon it altogether in the throes of labour.
• Life will never be the same after baby arrives

 What friendly and positive advice have you given to first time mothers to be? 

Don't forget to check in and see what everyone else knows this week at Yay for Homes' Things I know linky.

Be Happy, 
Nicola
 

Things I know - time flies and busy bees

busy bees. makes time fly

It's been one of those weeks where time has felt like it's escaped me. In fact, it's been a busy fortnight with visitors all weekend, and extra work and activity for the kids. So busy, that I haven't managed to log on and post for three days. And it's not for want of trying, I've had the ideas, just not the time to post. Although, I do know, that time is just an illusion, a perception, but this week, it seems to have disappeared.


This week I know:


1. As lovely as it is having visitors, it can be disruptive to the family routine, especially for the children who get over excited and show-offy

2. Being out (mostly for work) every night this week has been tiring and made me less tolerant of the boys (especially in the morning)

3. The reality of being a busy parent, life and time can sometimes be overwhelming in a not so positive way.

4, Eight year old boys still have melt downs (even though 8 is a magic number) and tantrums, mostly over their younger siblings.

5. As much as I like spontaneity there is definitely something useful and positive about planning. So I will use this post as a SPARK to kick off my weekend of no working, and dedicate some time to thinking and planning out the month of September.

6. The bees are getting really busy!

What do you know about this week? Join Shae over at YAY for Home for the Things I Know linky. 

Be Happy

Things I know - Change the Dance: fresh air is good for you

I am so pleased that Spring has arrived. We enjoyed our last weekend of Winter as a family in the great outdoors. It was one of those weekends, where, everyone was getting on each others nerves. We were all squabbling, squawking and tanting. I decided to change the dance and get us all out of the house. Sure we all had snotty noses and mild coughs, but it was good to get out into the fresh air. 

This week I know that fresh air is good for you:

playing in the bush is fun

picnics on flat rocks at the beach are yum

ice cream keeps everyone happy

We got out of the house, went for a bike ride along the Rails to Trails track to the pine tree forest and played in the bush, took a picnic out to Yallingup Beach and finished the weekend off with ice cream at Simmos.

We changed the dance and got some fresh air. It was a welcome fix to the mood at home. Fresh air is good for you, this I know.

What do you know this week? Joining in the fun with Shae from Yay for Home.

  
Be Happy, 
Nicola 

Things I know - it's great to meet you!

there is nothing as refreshing as new friends

I've been blogging around the traps for about eighteen months now in various forms here and here and here. I love the connections and bloggy friendships I have made on the journey. Nurture the Little People is my newest blog, being only 6 (ish) weeks old and I have met even more fabulous people that I would not have met had I not started this latest creation.

This week I know, it's great to meet you!

1. Lizeylou from shhh...it's lizeylou. She's also having a great giveaway too!
2. Emily at The Beetle Shack
3. Anna Ranson at The Imagination Tree
4. Courtney from Nobashake
5. Lee from, Mummy Issues: Part 2


These are just a small handful of the blogs I've discovered and connected with over the past few weeks. And of course another favourite is Yay for Home! Why don't you stop on by and see what other people know this week.

Be Happy, 
Nicola

Things I know - Leo's are control freaks!

Leo the Lion maybe the King of the jungle, but he is not the King of our household!

This week I have come to know, or re know or remember one of the telltale characteristics of the Astrological Sign Leo. You know the lion. Born sometime between Mid July and Mid August, Leo's typically love to be the center of attention and love to be appreciated.

But they have an ALL MIGHTY ROAR! This I know! My eight year old son has a great roar on him. He easily loses his temper, at little things and flies into a rage. And there I was just the other day writing about how eight is one of those magical ages.

Junior is a leader, and it's only natural that he wants to take charge of the family ship, but at eight years old, he has to learn to relax, step back from trying to control everything and just be a cub. He has plenty of good years ahead of him to step out of the pride and step up as his own King.

What do you know this week? Nurture the little people is linking up with Yay for Home this week to discover the things that people know.

yay for home

Be Happy
Nicola

Things I know - boys, boys, boys

Junior and Mini Hoges, love the beach, this I know!

Here at Hogan Central, I am surrounded by boys. I have two sons and a husband. I make sure that I wear skirts often!

Here is what I know about my boys:

• they play rough and tumble
• they love the beach
• they enjoy construction and making things
• they love to "work" outside like their Dad
• they always leave the toilet seat up (and sometimes a little wee on the floor)
• they love music with guitars and love to rock on
• they like to ride their bikes and kick the footy
• they sometimes fight and punch and kick each other
• they will grow up to be best friends
• they love their family very very much

What things do you know about this week?

Nurture the Little People is joining in Yay for Homes' linky, Things I know. Check it out and see what wonderful things other people know.

yay for home

Be Happy
Nicola