Monday, 8 August 2011

Good Manners on Monday # 2

thanks for the lift!

# 2 Shyness vs Laziness

Last week I wrote the first post in my series, Good Manners on Monday This is my quest to get us all thinking a bit more about the way that we speak to each other and ultimately respect each other. 

This weeks post is about Thank you and exploring the idea behind what prevents kids from using their manners and saying "thank you".

For the past 6 months, we have been taking a child to school with us twice a week, and his mother brings home Junior from school on those same days. We have known this child for 3 years, he has been in the same class as Junior for all those years. We have had regular play dates and know the family well.

The problem is though, this child never ever says "thanks for the lift" or even "good bye" when we get to school. He literally whisks his seat belt off and opens the door and runs away to class, 2 seconds after I have put the car in park. After 6 months of this, it truly has grown on my nerves. Junior and I have had conversations about making sure that he always uses his manners and says "thank you for bringing me home" to his friends mum, which he does, because I hear him.

I was always brought up to say "thank you" to my friends parents if they brought me home, took me somewhere, had me over for a play date etc, etc. And these are values and manners that I expect my children to follow.

Does the use of manners (or lack of), in particular saying "thank you", indicate shyness or laziness? And do you think this reflects badly on parents who don't encourage their children or demonstrate good manners?

Be Happy, 


My Mummy Daze said...

I think it does tend to reflect on the parents. It would grate on my nerves if I wasn't given the common courtesy of a 'goodbye' or 'thankyou' like you mentioned. But in saying that this child was probably out of his comfort zone and just ready to dash out of the car. Shyness may be a reason, or he's just used to getting reminders from his parents when he's to use his manners. When you didn't prompt him, he didn't think to use his manners.

Daisy, Roo and Two said...

I absolutely agree that saying thank you is important, and teaching your kids to say thank you as a way of teaching them to appreciate the people and opportunities around them is an incredibly valuable lesson. However, I know from experience that even though Roo says "Chank Ooo" to me at home for nearly everything, and I the same for her, she can often require prompting in public. She is only 2 though. Perhaps like @My Mummy Daze said, he didn't think to say thanks because his mum prompts him?

Nurture the Little People said...

Wow, thanks for that ladies, it always helps to get a different perspective.

And, Chank cute!

Anonymous said...

I agree, the two ladies offered some wonderful perspective.

I appreciate good manners and I am often appalled at such lack of one. During Halloween, I loved staying home and hand out candies, and I have seen children who weren't happy with the handful I put in their bag. So they reached into my bowl of candies and scooped the candies into their bag. Their parents stood by and simply watch.

The times are a changing.

Mum's the word said...

I think respect and manners go hand in hand.. If a kids forgets to say please or thankyou even if they;re not my child, I ask them to..I think its an important thing to teach to children. My kids have been taught from the get go but I still have to remind them occasionally..

Felicity said...

I can completely empathise with you on this one.
Do you have the capacity to child lock the back doors from the drivers' seat? Perhaps you could do this and when you pull up at the kerb turn around and say I hope you have a great day 'insert name', wait for the response and then open the door...just a thought!
xx F

Nurture the Little People said...

Great idea Felicity! Will remember that for next time