Dealing with Disappointment

disappointment, such a big emotion, image sourced here

Do you remember the first time you felt really disappointed as child? Your stomach feels sick, pain in your chest and that heavy feeling of injustice...NOT FAIR playing around and around in your thoughts. I don't remember the exact first time, but I do remember many moments as a child when a play date was cancelled, or the weather suddenly turned bad. As horrible as these moments felt at the time, they are an important part of growing up and learning to cope.

My heart sank today as my big boy got into the car and burst into tears after school. He hadn't been invited to his best mates 8th birthday party today after school. And unfortunately for us, the friend was parked two cars down and we heard the laughter and fun as the children all piled into the BF mum's car. The big heavy sobs said it all. Junior was bitterly disappointed. He couldn't understand why he was not invited, considering his friend lives a hop, step and a jump over the fence on the street behind. I didn't know the answer why. All I knew was that his friend was only allowed to invite three friends, and I'd only learnt that 5 minutes earlier in the play ground.

The tears got heavier, the sobs louder and Junior's face redder. He wondered if he had done something wrong. I started to feel yuck in the stomach too, an old feeling of disappointment rearing it's ugly head. 

We got out of the car and I hugged my son and told him that I loved him. And that we would pack for his holiday to Grandma's tonight. I decided to give him some treats of a lollipop and icecream, hoping that the sugar might make him feel a bit better. We fashed his face, and the red disappeared. Hoges came home and took both boys out for a bike ride.

It's tough watching your child experience real disappointment for the first time, this I Know,  and not having any answers for it is hard too...how do you deal with this experience?

Joining in with Yay for Homes, Things I know linky

Be Happy,  
Nicola 

Wellbeing Wednesday - Lovely Lavender

lavender, so calming and lovely

Spring arrives tomorrow. I am looking forward to watching the flowers burst and bloom. In particular, I am looking forward to picking some fresh lavender.Lavender is one of the most versatile herbaceous plants in this world. Not only does it look and smell amazing, it has wonderful healing properties that anyone can use safely, and without needing to be a hippy!

As a flower, lavender can be cut fresh and dried to be used as clothes and linen fresheners, as a tea with slices of lemon, in muffins and cakes, in a herbal pillow, or loving displayed in vases around the home. 

lavender sachets to keep your knicker drawer fresh!

I love lavender so much that I designed my wedding around the flowers. In fact it is my ninth wedding anniversary today, and so we are blessed to have lots of beautiful lavender around the region to pick. The lavender bouquets and decorations were so lovely to look at, the calming properties made for a somewhat relaxed atmosphere in the church and were romantic and spiritual in nature. I had a huge bouquet of lavender and made lavender pins for the gents.

romantic and lovely

As an essential oil, lavender has many applications. Using an oil burner, you can create a calming and relaxing aroma that permeates through the air. Drops can be added to your bath or even on a handkerchief to place under your pillow for restful sleeps. Lavender can be added to a base oil for massage to ease and relax tired and aching muscles. Blend lavender with eucalyptus oil and you have a powerful concoction that will assist in healing colds and flu, infections, and ease depression.

lavender essential oil is versatile

One of my favourite applications is to assist with menstrual pain. I heat a tablespoon of olive oil and add 5 drops of lavender essential oil to this and massage all over my abdomen, and lower back and breasts. 

Lavender is a suitable calming agent for children too. You just need to halve the amount of essential oils used. 

Do you like lavender? Would you use it regularly? What is your favourite flower or essential oil?

Be Happy, 
Nicola 

Nurturing Big People - listening to body talk

a day of rest...just what the body ordered!

As a mother, I spend a lot of my time nurturing my family, building my nest and feeding my brood. All of which I love. As a Massage Therapist, I dedicate an hours time to nurturing another and channeling energy. As a Hospitality Manager, I spend a lot of my work making sure people are having a good time and ensuring that my staff feel supported and encouraged, nurtured. 

So you see, there is a lot of Nurturing going on in my life. It is a busy life, as you will find the story with most mothers and parents. However, when we are busy, we often forget to nurture ourselves and we find it hard to hear when our bodies are talking to us.

I've been having some restless sleeps of late, and waking up feeling a bit stiff and cloudy in the head. Generally a big cup of Peppermint and Green tea lifts the cloudiness and some Sun Salutations stretch out the bed aches and stiffness. 

But there has been something lurking in the background. A little voice as barely audible as a whisper has been calling me.  

 "Rest. Stop. Breathe. Sleep".

And so today I awoke feeling even more cloudy and foggy than usual. My body feeling heavy, tired. And over that cup of tea this morning, as I noticed a feather floating down from a tree outside, I heard my body loud and clear.

"Rest. Stop. Breathe. Sleep".

This morning, I took the boys to school. I purposefully left my bag at home, so as not to be tempted to one of the cafes in town. I wore my bed socks and daggy tracksuit bottoms, so as not to be tempted to meet up with the school mums and engage in school politics. Today I will rest, stop , breathe and sleep. My body is telling me I am tired. It's been a busy three weeks since moving house, and it's caught up with me.

It is so important to look after yourself and give yourself the time to recharge your energy. Being a nurturer, you have got to listen to your body talk, and pay attention to the messages it sends. 

When you really listen, what does your body talk say to you? How do you nurture yourself?

Be Happy, 

Nicola

image source

Touch for Kids

children experience stress too

One of the many 'Hats' that I wear in my life is as a Qualified Massage Therapist. I have performed and given hundreds of massage treatments over the past twelve years. I am most passionate about giving nurturing touch to children, babies and pregnant women.

As adults, we all know that tension and stress manifests itself as knots and muscle soreness commonly in our shoulders and neck, with the odd headache attached. This is no different for children. Particularly in boys. Steve Biddulph writes in his book, Raising Boys, that male children from the ages of 8 to the teenage years often have shoulders that are "hard as rocks". 

I have found this to be the case on my 8 year old. He carries a heavy school bag, he climbs trees and gym equipment, he uses computers daily at school and concentrates hard on reading and writing and learning. It's no wonder his shoulders become so tense.

give your child the gift of touch

Over the years, as Junior Hoges has gotten older, he has become less inclined to just come and snuggle or cuddle with me. To counteract this, I have taken to giving Junior a regular weekly shoulder and neck massage of about fifteen minutes in duration. 

I ask Junior to sit on a chair, leaning into a cushion. He sits facing away from me, back to front on the chair. Using a medium firm pressure (I always ask what is comfortable for him first) I massage my way around the top of the shoulders, between the shoulder blades, at the base of the skull and the sides of the neck. For me, this a great way for us to bond and for me to express love. For Junior, he gets to receive the gift of touch, learn to relax and connect with mum.

This week, why don't you introduce the gift of touch with your kids and feel the connection.

Be Happy
Nicola 

image credit 

Snacks to keep the Little People Happy

Yesterday, Multiple Mum wrote about Food Wastage on her blog, And then there were four. This is an issue I take very seriously. And just like most parents know, when you have Little People around the house, there is often an awful lot of food waste. And expense. Take bananas, for example. Gill at Alice Becomes yesterday wrote about the cost of bananas and whether people factor that in when purchasing them (or not). She also wrote how she hasn't bought any for awhile as M1 has a tendency to waste them on his pram, brother or hair.

In our household, we have two boys, so there is sometimes food wastage. The biggest culprit of food wastage in our house is Mini Hoges, the nearly 4 year old. He is a grazer. He will eat small amounts of food all day long, and mostly in the mornings and late afternoons. It can be challenging keeping up with his grazing appetite and satisfying his ever changing palate. Hence the food wastage. He's the sort of kid who will grab an apple, take a bite and proclaim it's yucky. He will also ask for one thing for breakfast, have a mouth full, then say he doesn't like it or he's full. I can hear you groaning in sympathy. I know it is a phase, and he will grow out of it, just as his older brother did.

Inspired by yesterdays posts, and the constant asking for "something out of the cupboard", I decided to put together a big bowl of foods that I can pour out into a nutricious, easy snack to satisfy Mini Hoges. I call it the Cup of Fun!


I used up the last of some Mini Weetbix, threw in some dried apricots, apples and cranberries, and a very small handful of smarties, some marshmallows, grissini sticks, cashews and pepitas. And when Mini Hoges asked me for "something out of the cupboard mummy" I presented the snack in his favourite cup and said "Here you are my darling, a cup of Fun!" to which he giggled, and is now happily munching. Looks like it worked!


How do you combat the ever persistent requests for food in your household?

Be Happy
Nicola


image source

Breathing Through Parental Stress

when all else fails, breathe deep

It's one of those mornings. It's raining, the traffic is heavy making you feel late for the school run. The moon is full and the kids are behaving like lunatics. One child hits another. Game on. You feel your shoulders tighten. Hands grip the steering wheel a little firmer. It feels like it takes you hours to get out of the car and across the road to school, all the while it is raining and those kids just won't let up. You just want to SCREAM!!!

Sound familiar?

We've all been there. This used to be me. Especially if I had worked late the night before. The unrelenting stress of being a parent. It doesn't go away. But the way in which you react to the stressors determines the way you cope.

My solution? Breathe. 5 deep full breaths. In and out. In through the nose, and out through the mouth with an audible "haaa" sound. It works wonders. You can even get the kids in on it too. Ask them to pretend that you are all trying to blow up the biggest balloon in the world. They will have a giggle at seeing you doing something so silly in the midst of their squabbling. Seeing you taking full deep breaths and blowing out with full puffed cheeks will get everyone laughing. 

And we all know that laughter is the best medicine.

By demonstrating positive coping skills during stressful times, we are teaching our children valuable tools, that they too will mimick later on.

What other ways do you cope with parental stress during those crazy times?

Be Happy 
Nicola

Wellbeing Wednesday

run a bath that soothes and heals

It's the middle of winter and like most people we are living with runny noses and chesty coughs. The dampness of the rain and cold mornings makes for some snotty congestion and it feels like the common cold keeps getting passed around the classroom.

In our family, we have always been big advocates of steam inhalation with eucalyptus oil. This is great if you are an adult - a few drops of eucalyptus into a bowl of boiling hot water and a towel over your head works magic. However, this is not so safe if you are a child. And not everyone has a plug in vaporizer. My method is to run a bath. Nurturing, soothing and safe.

Run a bath at a temperature that is suitable for the person intending to have the bath. For children add 15 drops of pure eucalyptus oil and 15 drops of lavender essential oil. And swish the water. For adults, double the quantity of oils. Keep the windows shut and the exhaust fan off and you will generate a healing steam that will clear your lungs and soothe your bones and aching muscles.

What methods do you use to clear away head colds?

Happy Days
Nicola

Beaut Breakfasts - apple crumble

desert for breakfast...love that!

Breakfast at our house can sometimes be a bit of a hit and miss. Whilst Junior has happily grown to enjoy a variety of breakfast foods, Mini Hoges still struggles with the idea, claiming "I don't like that" to almost everything I make for him. And that includes those breakfast foods that he loved two days ago.

With a surplus of apples slowly softening in my fridge, I decided to turn them into a healthy breakfast apple crumble.

Breakfast Apple Crumble

12 Apples, peeled, cored and sliced into chunks

2 cinnamon sticks

1 large piece of orange rind

1 cup of rolled oats

1/2 cup wholemeal flour

1/4 cup brown sugar

50 grams of butter

Stew apples with cinnamon and orange rind until they begin to soften. Place in a baking dish. 

In a bowl, rub together oats, flour sugar and butter so that the mixture resembles a crumbly texture.

Spread over the top of the apples and bake in a moderate oven for 20 minutes.

Serve the crumble warm or cold with a big dollop of natural vanilla yoghurt.

What different types of breakfasts have you served to fuel and nurture your family?

Happy Days

Nicola

Friday Night - Movie Night!

popcorn, movies = family togetherness

When I was growing up, we often had a Friday Night family game night. We'd all sit around the dinner table and play Monopoly or Scrabble or Uno. Music would play on the record player and we'd enjoy treats like chocolate or crisps as we spent quality time together as a family.

Jump ahead 25 or more years later and I have developed my own family togetherness ritual - Friday Night Movie Night. This entails an evening of early easy dinner and baths, everyone in their jarmies and a classic family movie to watch together.

Tonight we are making homemade pizzas and watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original with Gene Wilder). Our movie treats include popcorn, icecream spiders and chocolate dipped strawberries for desert.

I look forward to our Friday night ritual, especially in winter. It is a great way for us all to connect and wind down together after a busy week of school and work, preparing us for the weekend ahead.

Do you have a weekly family ritual that gets you enjoying quality time together?

Happy Days

Nicola

Nurture the Little People

carefree and fun, feeling nurtured

Hello and welcome to Nurture the Little People! 

On this blog you will find useful information to support you in your journey as parents and caregivers. My goal is to share with you my experience and what has worked for me. And to provide you with a valuable resource when all else fails. 

I believe that it is our role as parents, to provide the most nurturing and supportive environment for children so that they grow up to be resilient, feel loved and worthy and are confident in reaching their full potential.

My posts will be based around six main themes:

Touch - integrating massage and healing into your child's life as a way of bonding and expressing love

Fuel - food glorious food - what you eat and what you child eats is the most fundamental way to nurturing our bodies

Play - sharing ideas and exploring new ways to play imaginatively and with nature

Read - we love books and will share with you our favourites and new finds and essential reads for the parenting journey

Create - craft based fun, using mostly recycled and repurposed goods 

Big People - adults need nurturing too! Explore ways to give yourself the time to re-energise so you can Nurture the Little People in your life.

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus

I look forward to connecting with you in the future!

Nicola