Friday, 30 September 2011

Dealing with Disappointment

disappointment, such a big emotion, image sourced here
Do you remember the first time you felt really disappointed as child? Your stomach feels sick, pain in your chest and that heavy feeling of injustice...NOT FAIR playing around and around in your thoughts. I don't remember the exact first time, but I do remember many moments as a child when a play date was cancelled, or the weather suddenly turned bad. As horrible as these moments felt at the time, they are an important part of growing up and learning to cope.

My heart sank today as my big boy got into the car and burst into tears after school. He hadn't been invited to his best mates 8th birthday party today after school. And unfortunately for us, the friend was parked two cars down and we heard the laughter and fun as the children all piled into the BF mum's car. The big heavy sobs said it all. Junior was bitterly disappointed. He couldn't understand why he was not invited, considering his friend lives a hop, step and a jump over the fence on the street behind. I didn't know the answer why. All I knew was that his friend was only allowed to invite three friends, and I'd only learnt that 5 minutes earlier in the play ground.

The tears got heavier, the sobs louder and Junior's face redder. He wondered if he had done something wrong. I started to feel yuck in the stomach too, an old feeling of disappointment rearing it's ugly head. 

We got out of the car and I hugged my son and told him that I loved him. And that we would pack for his holiday to Grandma's tonight. I decided to give him some treats of a lollipop and icecream, hoping that the sugar might make him feel a bit better. We fashed his face, and the red disappeared. Hoges came home and took both boys out for a bike ride.

It's tough watching your child experience real disappointment for the first time, this I Know,  and not having any answers for it is hard too...how do you deal with this experience?

Joining in with Yay for Homes, Things I know linky




Be Happy,  
Nicola 

8 comments:

Tanja said...

Oh, that is tough :(
Hope he has lots of fun at Grandma's!

House of Prowse said...

Yes, so much to "not" look forward to. Just want to protect them.
Hope he finds out why and it can give him some closure... that is what I would want if it were a little me!

Kirsty said...

Its always hard when this happens, I hope he has a great time at Grandmas instead :)

Rhianna said...

oh the poor little love. Growing up can be so hard at times, DD1 has had some tricky moments like that lately. Fairy wishes and butterfly kisses to you both.

Nurture the Little People said...

Well, it turns out Junior got over it pretty quickly. I went off to work for the evening, and Hoges took the boys out and they had a grand old time together. All was forgotten in the morning, and he is currently having a ball of a time at the Grandies.
It is hard though when you see them so upset. Their thinking becomes so irrational at the time, and it really is hard to console the child.
But it was a great learning curve for all of us as a family, and it was one of those special moments where you really feel family love and support!

therhythmmethod said...

I remember that feeling from school too. Feeling like the world was closing in. He's lucky to have a loving family to let him know he's still an awesome little man.

Lizeylou said...

Reading this made me feel so sad ... I can only imagine how things felt for you. Seeing your kids truely sad is just so heartbreaking isn't it. Must say I was happy to read your comment that he is having a great time with the grandparents.

TheUrbanMum said...

Horrible, horrible... Anyone who plays mean to my babies - well out come my horns. You handled it well. Possibly not mature of me however I find it helps to give the other child some of their own medicine - plan a wonderful party pick up for your baby. Zoom past and wave at the other cars on your way...xoxo