Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Tantrums, tornedos and the first born child

perhaps we need one of these in our backyard to resolve squabbling?
I'd like to share something with you that I am sure (hope) many of you experience too, and can perhaps shed some light. Often in this parenting journey you can feel so alone. You wonder about your child/children and whether their behaviour is "normal". 

I try to think back to when I was a kid. My brother was five years older than me, and sure we fought a bit. But mostly we got along ok. Mum says we were always perfectly well behaved when we were out and squabbled occassionally. I have some vague memories of being sent to out respective bedrooms for some reason or the other, and me sneaking out and sending little notes under my big bro's door. Maybe we got on ok because we were a "pigeon" pair. I have two sons...and they fight. 

Sometimes I feel like there is a tornedo roaring through our house. 

It doesn't take much. The 8 year old is so quick to roar and tantrum at his brother. And there I was a few weeks back sharing my thoughts about magical ages. It seems that the bigger brother just wants to be in charge...always. Perhaps it's just the eldest child syndrome. But then the 4 year old has now learned how to wind his big brother up. He knows what buttons to push and will do so in order to get his brother to play with him. This inevitably results in squabbling, shouting and tears. And ultimately both boys ending up at opposite ends of the house on their thinking chairs.

Some days are better than others, and it's fair to say, that this morning, they were great. They cooperated with tidying each others bedrooms, but again, the 8 year old started to get bossy and it resulted in a near tantrum that I was able to squash before it raged out of control.

So, what do you do in your family? Do your children fight? Is your first born bossy, and how do you resolve it?

Be Happy, 
Nicola  

image source here

3 comments:

therhythmmethod said...

I have exactly the same problem, though I have 3 boys: 5, 3 and 1. They all squabble. Mr 5 thinks he is a parent, Mr 3 presses everyone's buttons and Mr 1 has no idea, but does tend to go into 'destructo-baby' mode and wreck the big boys' games.
We have a time out chair, but sometimes (like tonight) I sent the big boys to their rooms and shut the door. It was only for 5 mins, there were no tantrums: I just had to do something Big to make them calm down and 'change the dance'.
I wonder if it's a boy thing? Sometimes I just let them play ninjas on the trampoline to get rid of their excess energy.

Nurture the Little People said...

Oh, I am so RELIEVED to hear that someone else lives with this too. Perhaps being a mother of all boys makes it a bit harder to understand, because we are the ONLY female in the household.
My big boy tries to be the parent too...curse of the eldest child?

My Mummy Daze said...

I remember fighting with my big brother. I also loved him dearly.

My eldest (my step son) is 10 and really struggles to get along with his youngest sister, who is 3 and completely adores him. I find it upsetting that he could dislike his sister so much and have such little tolerance for her.

My husband and I constantly struggle with the best way to handle it.